Optimism and Perspectives

Something that really strikes a nerve with me. Pity Parties!

This applies across the board, but Holy Whiners Batman! Some military wives just cannot keep it together!

Some people are just pessimistic, others really are being dealt the worse hand possible again and again and again.  And everyone just has their bad days, this I know and understand. I have been there!  (This whole post is excluding true tragedies such as death, destruction of your home etc.  I’m referring only to things like your garbage disposal is broken, you’re just lonely and miss them while they’re temporarily gone etc.) However, I believe in being unyieldingly optimistic!

True optimism never fails!  If you’re truly finding the silver lining to all your bad situations, then you’d be balancing the bad with the good, perhaps not in equal proportions, but still. Optimism means that you’re not constantly wallowing over all the woes in your life. You find your happy thought and let your self fly!  When you wallow in it, you just stay upset and bogged down, possibly even depressed.  When you find the good in it, however little it might be, you’re choosing to focus on something positive instead the negative. I honestly believe that when you choose optimism over wallowing, you just become happier all around, how could you not?

My real pet peeve about pity parties is the double standard many have, especially when it comes to military spouses.  Some people lose all perspective but their own.  I have, and will always, full on support that sometimes it’s okay to have a pity party.  Sometimes you just need to let it out. Whether you broke a nail, stubbed your toe, your car broke down, or your spouse just left to be gone for a week, two weeks, a month, several months, over a year.  EVERYONE gets to complain once in a while.  But then that double standard kicks in for some people.   One person may feel the need to whine about how much they miss their spouse who’s gone for 6 months on a daily basis, but have the nerve to tell someone else that they shouldn’t complain about missing their spouse just because their spouse is gone for less amount of time.  Would that person appreciate someone else who has to deal with their spouse be gone for longer periods of time tell them that they shouldn’t whine about 6 measly months? Or a widow telling us not to complain at all cause least our spouses are still here?

I have learned a great many things from my Grandfather, and I hope he is around for a long long time still because there is still so much I could learn  from him.  One thing I have learned is that we’ve all been there once. It’s important not to forget about the perspectives you had as you’ve gained experience in life.  A military spouse may have learned to deal with being alone for long periods of  time. But that doesn’t make the feelings of someone who hasn’t had to deal with it invalid.  Just because I can go several months without my husband without batting an eye doesn’t mean that I get to tell my friends that they shouldn’t complain about their significant others only being gone for comparatively short periods of time. It’s all a matter of perspective.  If you don’t already, perhaps you should consider someone else’s perspective before you criticize them just because you feel like their problems are nothing to sneeze at.
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